Subscribe in Reader

RSS Feed (xml)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Are you reluctant to critics and critisism ?

What's your most common reaction to criticism  directed towards you?

Some people associate being critical with being less faithful , less sincere and such other negative feelings. But the question at hand is that is it really so ?

Personally for me, I have noticed when someone/something is very near and close to me I feel more free to be critical of that person or thing. For example, Let me begin with myself .. I think I am biggest critic of my own personality, and I do this purposefully in order to grow. No criticism , no growth for me (But I also remember to take care of the positive points). Same holds true for my loved ones, my work, some of  my close friends, and everyone/everything that I think is close to me and is mine !

But  when it comes to giving an ear to criticism it's not that easy for everyone, I guess first we need to analyze if it is really important to us and then we need to also "learn the art of accepting criticism". Since I am such a big critic, It's easy for me to critically analyze all things that are around me. When I do that I am almost always doing it because I love the one I criticize and I do it with the goal of growth in my mind :).  Once I was talking to my friend about my country and it's many shortcomings,  (who I later realized was not so open to listening to my criticism and took it not as a  token of my love for my country but otherwise) where I was comparing it to another  more developed nation...and it was not taken in good spirits of course. Then I gave a thought to the whole situation and questioned myself.... was I wrong ? I have noticed so many people getting on their nerves when they listen to ANYTHING negative about what is their own or what they associalte with their identity.

My question is that if we remain so anti criticism, how the hell on earth do we expect ourselfs to improve ? Then the only other way out is to not improve !!   :) 

There are two major beliefs that are anti criticism :

1. Some people seem to believe that criticizing or listening to any criticism for someone/something that is their own is equal to being unfaithful or insincere. Such people react very emotionally to criticism and are less likely to "GROW"  from it. For example : I know of a man who just knows many of his fathers shortcomings but always denies them when confronted. 

2. Some people believe that Criticism is something that is negative and bad. They have probably always overlooked its benefits and uses.

Some points in this regard to consider :

1. We all play the critics at some point or the other for someone or the other.

2. Criticism can be difficult to accept (at least immediately) but if taken in the right spirits can be really helpful in the development process.

3. All criticisms are open to either acceptance or rejection but before accepting or rejecting a piece of criticism, we need to analyze it RATIONALLY.

4. Those who can accept criticism and give a thought over it, are most likely to be very confident people.

5. Criticism as a growth technique should not be offered (or should be sparingly offered) to people who have a low self image or a low confidence as it might lead to more problems instead of help !

I found this article on ehow about  how to deal with criticism , for anyone who might be interested.

By the way, this blog and the blog post/s are open to critics and criticism, In fact they are welcome !!!  :)

Image courtesy : and Google image search.

Share |

To receive free updates about personal development and happiness in email, please enter your email address below ☺

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. Hello, You are back with a bang. This is truly one of the best posts I've been through in recent times. Very open and straightforward. I like your definition of criticism. In fact, I must say our thoughts are quite similar on the same. Long back, I had written a similar post on the same topic. Criticism is something which one has to go at least once through his/her life. I believe there is nothing wrong in being criticized. One must take positives from it and try to make his/her life more better. As a working professional, I know its not that easy to control oneself when you are being criticized but then this world is very cruel. No matter how good or perfect you are, there will be at least some few who will always be against you. Better to ignore such people. But then its finally upto us to decide if we are being criticized for the good or bad thing. To sum then, I would like to put here my theory - Be a good critic and always go for positive criticism. Plus one of my own favorite management quotes which I think everyone should follow be it in a personal life or professional life - Never wrestle with Pigs. You get dirty besides the pig likes it.

  2. Thanks for your meaningful comment Aswani :)

  3. @wecognize - You are most welcome!

  4. How does one vote for you at blogadda? The link did not click.

  5. Niharika most people are uncomfortable with criticism because criticism highlights something that is wrong with them, also there is too much of destructive criticism going in the world.

    A lot of people 'criticise' whenever they are angry - so that gives criticism a bad name! That is not even criticism! I think objective criticism is often equated with finding faults or nitpicking, which gives it a negative feel again.

    Ideally criticism should only be provided to those who ask for it, or are open to it. For those who object? ... the only way to change something we dislike about them would be to point out what we like about them and hence reinforce the good qualities.

  6. Thanks for the comment IHM :)
    Yes there are criticisms in this world in all its forms, we cant avoid them, therefore I was finding ways to probably deal with them more effectively ?

    I do nit know why the vote link did not click ?? It seems to be working fine ... so nice of you to think of voting for my blog :)This is the link to my Blogadda profile but I think you need to be logged in there (if you have an account).

    However, Here all can vote :)Please do try again later, if it does not work.

  7. Very nice Article
    Criticism, as we call it here in America -'costructive feedback' is very valuable in self-growth and self-improvement. As long as the critic has no personal agenda in putting you down, there is nothing wrong with it.
    Also, it depends on the technique of criticism - how you convey the message. Some people are better with it than others. A mother is better at it than wife :).
    And finally, you should never critique someone (especially if it is harsh feedback) in public. Pull him/her aside, or sit down over a cup of coffee and:
    - share you concern
    - Be gentle and polite
    - provide your suggestion or alternate
    - point out the positive things as well.

    Just like a mom, "Son, I told you, you will fall down if you run on the wet floor so fast..."

  8. 'constructive feedback' i meant to spell above. Sorry, haven't have my morning coffee yet. :)

  9. Hi Indians Abroad... a very nice and thoughtful comment !! Thanks for your touch :)

  10. Nice topic to discuss as I said, My friend who was sitting next to me and reading the same blog, her view...we dont need to bother about criticism at all and thus it is waste of time to discuss about it, better we dump all these thing and kee on walking in our way...naturally. But In my way I always enjoy to bother critism and even more enjoy ignore them after some time. :)

  11. HI Sharodindu...I want to thank both you and your friend for reading the post and also to comment on it :)

    Is your friend really never bothered about the criticism that she faces ?

    Its always a pleasure to have you guys here ...


Thank you for choosing to comment :)